Another of the things on my I-will-die-inside-if-this-occurs list happened yesterday: I had a series of seizures while at a social event. I’ll start by acknowledging that I hadn’t been making the best of decisions, self-care wise. It’d been a long week (see Wednesday’s ER post), I was physically and mentally tired, and I opted to drink (hold the lecture, please). In short, I should’ve seen it coming, but I was determined to have a good time, to eat too many chips and have a few beers and play some games with close friends.
Thankfully, I had enough warning to lie down before the first seizure. My husband was there to time my convulsions and decide if it were necessary to call an ambulance. The friends who were hosting the party were amazingly helpful, caring, and understanding; we ended up spending the night on their couch because Andrew wasn’t comfortable taking me home in a cab, and they supplied breakfast (W, you make the most delicious fried eggs I’ve ever had the pleasure of eating!) and made me feel like it’s totally normal to host someone the morning after said person’s had a medical crisis in your apartment. Andrew informs me that they were equally fantastic while the seizures were ongoing. I’m a pretty lucky woman.
So, is there a lesson here? I guess the logical one is that I should be more careful, but what I’m choosing to take from this is that worst-case scenarios don’t have to be life-shattering, or even life-changing, ultimately. I’m not happy that anyone had to be in the situation they were in last night, and I’m embarrassed and sorry to have caused stress and worry, but I’m kind of proud of myself for not giving in to my suspicion that it would be best for everyone if I became a recluse in order to protect the world from me and me from the world. (Yes, I recognize that there might be a bit of distorted thinking contained in the last phrase of that sentence.) Though I don’t want a repeat of last night, and I don’t think that one’s likely to happen, I’m not going to let my seizure disorder restrict my life any more than it already has. Besides, those were damn good eggs.