From Prude to Prud(ish)

I’m not someone who’s ever felt comfortable in her own skin. These insecurities have affected me differently at different times in my life. Some of their manifestations have been very damaging; others have been relatively innocuous. A running thread, though, has been my resistance both to the idea of showing my body more than necessary … Continue reading From Prude to Prud(ish) →

Counting the Little (and the Not-So-Little) Things

It’s been just over a month since I got home. The time’s both flown and crawled by. Where’s it gone? Why does it slow to a near-stop when my OCD thoughts and anxiety whirl out of control, as tends to happen when I have a moment alone with my neurologically “special” brain? This past week … Continue reading Counting the Little (and the Not-So-Little) Things →

G-Tube Troubles and Tantrums (a Ramble)

I have very complicated feelings about my G-tube. Understandably so, I think. Its insertion, after all, was what led to the infection that led to the septic shock that led to much of what’s happened this past year. I agreed to get the G-tube in the first place because some part of me realized that … Continue reading G-Tube Troubles and Tantrums (a Ramble) →

Purple Day Is Here, and I’m Super Happy

(I wrote this yesterday and forgot to post it, but the sentiments remain!) Yup. It’s Purple Day (for epilepsy awareness), and, despite having had a seizure last night, I woke up beaming this morning with what can only be described as … wait, is this what unsullied happiness feels like? I’m in a very different … Continue reading Purple Day Is Here, and I’m Super Happy →

Home New Home

The fact that I’m home, in a new home I’d never stepped foot in (rolled into?) before last Sunday, is almost surreal. Sleeping in the same room as my husband? Eating at the same table? What is this? A beautiful, deeply satisfying, work in progress. As you likely anticipated, there’s a catch, for with the … Continue reading Home New Home →

Happy Home Day!

That’s right, friends. In approximately an hour and after nine months, give or take, I’ll be discharged. I’d be lying if I claimed that I’m not a little nervous. Change, especially change this big, is hard. As I wrote about in much greater detail in my last post, there are major ways in which my … Continue reading Happy Home Day! →

Big Changes in the Works

I’ve once again let enough time elapse between posts that anxiety about how much has happened—more material for those blog entries that I always promise but never quite get around to writing—has made producing anything at all feel too overwhelming. Today, though, I somehow worked up the courage to start with a short update and … Continue reading Big Changes in the Works →

Big Changes, Minimal Acceptance

I’m lying on a stretcher in the preoperative care unit waiting for my VNS surgery. What better time to write a blog post? (I finished it, however, a few days later.) As I mentioned in my previous entry, last week was a doozy. Most notably, on Tuesday we had a team meeting in which I … Continue reading Big Changes, Minimal Acceptance →

Read the Room, Vanessa

Well, that was a week. From last Tuesday to last Friday, I received difficult news or experienced something difficult, or both, every day. In this post, I’ll write about what was/is, in many ways, the easiest to process and one of the most time-sensitive. (“Time-sensitive” probably isn’t the right word choice here, but I don’t … Continue reading Read the Room, Vanessa →

AFO

I have a new body part. (That’s what you call an ankle-foot orthotic, right?) Acquiring it took time (of which I have near-endless amounts) and patience (of which I have almost none). Since the orthotic is custom made, the orthopedist had to come to take a plaster mould of my foot and leg and carefully … Continue reading AFO →