It’s my birthday! I’ve never had a particularly hard time accepting that with time comes increased age, perhaps because I’ve always felt as if I occupy a body and brain older than my own. And yes, I’m sitting in a wheelchair, admiring my latest embroidery project, drinking a Boost, digesting some pudding, and planning my … Continue reading Another Year Older, Definitely a Little Wiser
Tag: OCD
(Re)visiting
I spent most of Saturday catching up with a friend who lives in Ottawa. It occurred to me while waiting for him to arrive that I’d last seen him more or less exactly a year ago. The circumstances then were quite different: I was in acute care at the time, I heavily relied on help … Continue reading (Re)visiting
Six Months!
Exactly six months ago, I left the hospital and came home to a new apartment and to a life that was full both of possibility and, at the same time, of uncertainty. I remember the excitement; I also remember the nerves. The future was mine to embrace or to mess up. I like to think … Continue reading Six Months!
On My Own Two Feet
Sometimes it seems as if my recovery is proceeding at a snail’s pace—three steps forward, two and a half steps back—and then, out of the blue, I notice a cascade of changes. Friends very generously stopped by to hang out with me on Wednesday so that my husband could go to a work function. (Thanks, … Continue reading On My Own Two Feet
An Afternoon on the Town
My husband and I talked all summer about going to Koreatown, which is within easy, TTC-accessible distance of us and is the site of a few of my favourite stores, one of my favourite parks, and, importantly, a Baskin-Robbins. In other words, a trifecta of happiness. This must’ve been the fourth or fifth Sunday in … Continue reading An Afternoon on the Town
Flexing
I’ve been working really hard to be less rigid in how I approach, well, everything, including rigidity itself. My attempts to be more adaptable and open are usually ridiculously inflexible. I spend inordinate amounts of time mapping out precisely how I’ll challenge the OCD rules that dominate many aspects of my existence, creating charts and … Continue reading Flexing
A Headache
Besides a few teasers of reprieve, I had a migraine most of Wednesday and some of Thursday. Just a migraine, yes, but it sucked, as might be expected of a debilitating headache. My reaction to it certainly didn’t help matters at all. My tendency, especially over the last few months, is to jump to unproductive … Continue reading A Headache
Home Is Where the Floss Is
Yesterday marked another important milestone in my slow journey back to life: I made a trip to a large craft store for the first time in recent memory. It was pretty great. My husband and I had decided to break up the normal tedium with a date day, our version of which entailed a streetcar … Continue reading Home Is Where the Floss Is
All I Really Want
All hail Alanis. (With that out of my system, I can now proceed.) I’ve been finding it really hard lately to accept help from PSWs. There are several reasons for this, chief among them that support workers represent, to me, what I’ve lost in terms of independence. As I’ve become increasingly capable, I’ve also become … Continue reading All I Really Want
The Gift of Gab
My parents called this morning to remind me that it’s an important anniversary, one I honestly would’ve forgotten had they not remembered. Exactly a year ago, I regained the ability to speak. Though I hadn’t known the precise date, I do remember the moment. There had been some buildup to to it, and my anticipation, … Continue reading The Gift of Gab



