The Pantless PSW

As promised, I present to you the second instalment of what I intend(ed) to be a series of posts. Let me just say that I’m pretty proud of myself for following through and returning to the topic of the PSWs who visit me twice daily. Even as I published the first, I knew it was … Continue reading The Pantless PSW →

Ice Queen

Welcome to our household, ice maker. We love you. I’ve had a handful of nicknames over the years, none of which have really stuck. The latest? Ice Queen. This wasn’t inspired, as might be the natural assumption, by my frigidly cold soul, but rather by something more literal. Before last summer, I wasn’t a lover … Continue reading Ice Queen →

Stitches

It’s been a week. A good one, in some regards, but also a very challenging one. I’ve had a few health blips and a couple of appointments that’ve forced me to stop evading uncomfortable realities. Facing the future—particularly when aspects of it are uncertain—remains a huge stumbling block. Parts of me would rather cruise along … Continue reading Stitches →

From Prude to Prud(ish)

I’m not someone who’s ever felt comfortable in her own skin. These insecurities have affected me differently at different times in my life. Some of their manifestations have been very damaging; others have been relatively innocuous. A running thread, though, has been my resistance both to the idea of showing my body more than necessary … Continue reading From Prude to Prud(ish) →

Counting the Little (and the Not-So-Little) Things

It’s been just over a month since I got home. The time’s both flown and crawled by. Where’s it gone? Why does it slow to a near-stop when my OCD thoughts and anxiety whirl out of control, as tends to happen when I have a moment alone with my neurologically “special” brain? This past week … Continue reading Counting the Little (and the Not-So-Little) Things →

G-Tube Troubles and Tantrums (a Ramble)

I have very complicated feelings about my G-tube. Understandably so, I think. Its insertion, after all, was what led to the infection that led to the septic shock that led to much of what’s happened this past year. I agreed to get the G-tube in the first place because some part of me realized that … Continue reading G-Tube Troubles and Tantrums (a Ramble) →

Home New Home

The fact that I’m home, in a new home I’d never stepped foot in (rolled into?) before last Sunday, is almost surreal. Sleeping in the same room as my husband? Eating at the same table? What is this? A beautiful, deeply satisfying, work in progress. As you likely anticipated, there’s a catch, for with the … Continue reading Home New Home →

Happy Home Day!

That’s right, friends. In approximately an hour and after nine months, give or take, I’ll be discharged. I’d be lying if I claimed that I’m not a little nervous. Change, especially change this big, is hard. As I wrote about in much greater detail in my last post, there are major ways in which my … Continue reading Happy Home Day! →

Big Changes in the Works

I’ve once again let enough time elapse between posts that anxiety about how much has happened—more material for those blog entries that I always promise but never quite get around to writing—has made producing anything at all feel too overwhelming. Today, though, I somehow worked up the courage to start with a short update and … Continue reading Big Changes in the Works →

Read the Room, Vanessa

Well, that was a week. From last Tuesday to last Friday, I received difficult news or experienced something difficult, or both, every day. In this post, I’ll write about what was/is, in many ways, the easiest to process and one of the most time-sensitive. (“Time-sensitive” probably isn’t the right word choice here, but I don’t … Continue reading Read the Room, Vanessa →