The Proverbial Floodgates

I’m not sure my husband is particularly happy about the consequences that my latest accomplishment (and, in some ways, the greatest one besides the obvious stuff such as, you know, surviving) will have on his ability to enjoy the night without getting soaked in second-hand water.

Yesterday evening, I showered in our shower for the first time. Yep: a real shower, not a bed bath. A wash-my-hair, lather-my-body, squeaky-clean sudsfest.

Apart from a nurse-assisted shower in the rehabilitation hospital sometime in late fall 2022, this was my first in almost two years. I’ve traditionally been a bath person for the simple reason that water gushing onto my head makes me feel like a rat drowning in a torrential downpour (yeah, I’m a weirdo), but a sixteen-month pause in our relationship has made me appreciate showers in a way I never have. As it turns out, absence really does make the arid heart grow fonder. And moister.

Before taking the proverbial plunge, I did the responsible thing and emailed my community-based occupational therapist laying out a proposed plan and asking for her blessing. After hitting the send button and indulging in my fourth bottle of Ensure Plus of the day, I spent the next few hours distracting myself with a boring book as I anxiously waited for her to reply.

She said yes!

Once we’d finished dinner, my husband and I prepared the bathroom and opened the floodgates. The rest was the start of something beautiful: a future of delightfully silky hair that I can’t stop running my wonderfully clean hands through.

I’m not sure it could’ve gone any better. The only damage done was to my husband’s clothes, which were drenched by the errant showerhead, and to the bathroom floor, which accumulated puddles of water still smelling of shampoo and conditioner.

Here’s to another milestone. Here’s to a husband willing to facilitate my return to real personhood. Here’s to the overpriced hair products I plan to purchase in celebration of the glories of personal grooming. If you have any recommendations, lemme know.