Postictal

Earlier this evening, I had a seizure while taking a shower. Luckily I had already rinsed out the shampoo (small blessings, right?), though conditioner wasn’t going to happen, for obvious reasons. Of all possible “injuries,” slightly crispy hair ranks pretty low. Indeed, I didn’t seriously hurt myself beyond a sore leg and a few bruises. Could’ve been much worse.

My husband and I have this deal where I keep the door to the bathroom open while (I’m) bathing, which is, I guess, perfectly fair given what’s happened in the past/what happened today. I used to resent it—what does it take for a girl to get a little privacy around here??—but eventually accepted his answer (a few seizure-free months, that’s what). After hearing the tell-tale thump, he came to save me. The world of the shower floor was immediately a better place to convalesce, even if I couldn’t figure out why he was speaking gibberish. I instructed him to talk to me in English, Italian, or Pig Latin (languages I can UNDERSTAND, goddamit!), but to no avail.

In this case, what annoyed me most was how decisively crappy I felt afterward. Like, get into bed and stare at the ceiling kind of crappy. I hate knowing that my brain’s been zapped and that I have to let it fix itself. I hate knowing that I’m not able to express myself properly or understand half of what’s coming out of my husband’s mouth. I hate (love?) that my instinct is to write postictal blog posts that I’ll be tempted to delete later.

But no matter. Time to go back to watching My Cat from Hell while I wait for my neurons to recover.

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3 thoughts on “Postictal

  1. Oh, my… You’re a rock star, Kathleen. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences as honestly, and often humorously, as you do. You probably hear this kind of thing all the time and it might annoy you, but I think that you’re really brave and I admire your strength. Keep being (and I don’t use this word lightly) awesome.

    1. Thanks, Christina! I really appreciate your kind words. True to my nature, I just reread that post and found some typos… My inner academic is ashamed 😉 Teaches me for writing with a scrambled brain!

  2. They are quiet frustrating and it’s okay to be frustrated. I tend to just cry after mine and frantically try to figure out what caused it. But the goal is always to never let it keep you down! You know it’s something about the bathroom and kitchen that seizures like to pop up hmm! But uhh I won’t lie I edit my blog for an hour after writing lol perfectionist ..you be careful and stay strong 🙂

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