Muffins: A Post About Nothing and Everything, but Mostly About Nothing

I realize that nobody cares about my food obsessions, but since this is my blog and, as a result, my little egotistical corner of the universe, I can write about whatever I want, whether related to epilepsy, OCD, depression, academia, etc. or not.

Today I’m tired of my problems, so I will focus my energies on muffins.

Lately I’ve been eating a minimum of six of them a day. I know what you’re thinking: isn’t that excessive? And the answer, my friends, is an unequivocal yes. But rest assured that they’re only muffin tops—I’m not wasting my time with the stumps—and that despite the fact that they taste like chocolate cake (or banana bread, depending on the variety), they’re low in sugar and fortified with all kinds of amazing vitamins and stuff. The box claims that they’re good for you. I’m going with that.

This is what happiness looks like.
This is what happiness looks like.

The beauty of these muffin tops is that not only are they delicious and bursting with nutrients, but they’re also incredibly simple to prepare. Defrost, toast (or not, depending on level of hunger and laziness), smother with nut butter of choice (or not, depending on same factors as above), and tastefully arrange on plate/recycled paper towel/in palm of hand. That’s it.

As with all things I eat too much of, I discovered them by chance, liked them, and latched on for dear life. When it comes to food, I don’t get bored: my breakfast (oatmeal) has remained essentially unaltered for the past, oh, ten years, give or take, and our kitchen cupboards display a remarkably uniform array of cans and boxes. If you’d taken a picture of the contents of our fridge a year ago, you could hold it next to one taken today and individuate very few differences. Whenever I’m allowed to choose where my husband and I go for dinner, I always nix fancy restaurants in favour of either Swiss Chalet (rotisserie chicken) or sushi (avocado roll and shiitake roll, edamame if I’m feeling crazy), the lure of predictability being too great for me to resist.

Maybe the way I become fixated on certain foodstuffs is related to my OCD. Maybe it’s that because I never know when the next seizure’s gonna strike, I crave constants. More likely, I’m just a creature of habit.

But yes, muffins. Highly recommended. Skip the stump.

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2 thoughts on “Muffins: A Post About Nothing and Everything, but Mostly About Nothing

  1. You did well to create a tag for muffins. I like it.

    Also, I really need to find myself a muffin-top mould so that I, too, can partake in the comfort of my own home in this glorious habit of yours!

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