As I write this, I’m on my way home from the vacation in British Columbia that I had to reschedule last month. As I actually post this, I’ve been back in Toronto for several days.
This means that I made it to my departure date without needing to reschedule for a second time; made it to the airport despite my weird anxiety about the getting-to-the-airport part of all trips; made it through security, which is a bit of a process with my VNS (think very thorough patdown, which isn’t ideal for someone who dislikes physical contact with most people, let alone with strangers, but what can you do); made it through the boarding process, which can be a little stressful with my cane; made it through the flight without having a medical incident forcing the pilot to turn the plane around; made it through the time in Victoria; and made it through the trip home.
I’ll cut to the chase and say that I’m super proud of how I handled all this. What I’m happiest about, I think, is the fact that I successfully resisted the temptation to do more than I currently can/than is advisable given my limitations. Yes, I had a ton of FOMO, but that fear made sense since I was missing out on summer-in-BC activities that I enjoy and since I wasn’t able to see many of the people I’d have really liked to. I didn’t, however, let my intense desire to do stuff and see people influence my behaviour. (On that note: if you live in Victoria and I didn’t reach out to you while I was there, I’m genuinely sorry. It isn’t personal. Let’s catch up over Skype or FaceTime sometime soon!) A primary goal of this vacation was reining myself in by establishing and sticking to a couple of priorities so that I could make it a real win—so that I could show myself, and whomever else, that I can tackle and enjoy future trips without unwelcome health-related intrusions. To do that, I had to be clear (with others, but most of all with my stubborn self) that I needed to limit myself to spending time with family, relaxing, and taking care of my medical requirements. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that I was victorious. Sure, I had a few seizures. What I didn’t do, though, was end up in the ER.
It wasn’t due to chance that my week went more smoothly than I dared hope it might; it was the result of a lot of preparatory work, patience, and diligence, and it’s another piece of evidence that when I carefully manage all the variables in my control, even when I’d rather throw caution to the wind, I lay the groundwork for good things to happen.
I reaped the obvious rewards of not throwing caution to the wind during Summer Vacation to BC 2019. A few days ago, I realized that many of the exciting plans I have for the coming year have fallen into place more or less naturally as I’ve started being more balanced about how I accomplish goals that I’m realistic and reasonable about setting in the first place. In other words, by doing less on a day-to-day basis, I’ve increased my capacity to do more of what’s meaningful to me.
Who’d have thought.