Friends with Benefits

Although I met G by a stroke of pure luck, our friendship now seems as meant to be as anything possibly could.

She and my husband were participating in the same forum at their place of work when they discovered their mutual connection to epilepsy—she lives with it, and he lives with me. After asking me for permission, he shared my contact information with her so that she and I could connect.

We almost immediately clicked. The first few times we talked, the topic was mostly our respective seizure experiences. Slowly, though, the focus shifted to more general life stuff: our interests, our likes and dislikes, our histories, our goals, our relationships, and, of course, plenty of griping about everything and nothing at all.

Now, many years later, she’s one of my best friends and one of the people about whom I care the most. I feel 100% at ease with her, a fact she probably secretly resents since it makes her the natural victim of my frequent rants and shameless oversharing.

She and her husband—now also a close friend—came to Toronto last year, shortly after I was discharged from the hospital. It was our first time being in the same physical space, and I was nervous in advance of their arrival. I needn’t have been. It was as if we’d known each other forever.

I don’t have many pals who live with epilepsy. I’m usually fine with that: it’s important and healthy, I think, to have it not be the core of most interactions. Still, being able to turn to someone who really gets it is invaluable, particularly when that person is a friend who just happens to have epilepsy, someone I’d talk to on a near-daily basis even if we didn’t have that mutual point of reference. That’s what I’ve found in G. A best friend with a true benefit.

It wasn’t long before we started planning our next visit, which took place this past weekend. It was, again, confirmation that we’re kindred spirits. We’ll see each other again later in 2024.

Sometimes I need these reminders of how beautiful and full my world is becoming. Sharing healthy bonds with genuine, interesting, and caring people. Having the energy to venture out and do stuff. Being secure enough in my health and in myself to be confident that G. and I will travel somewhere together this summer. I can’t wait.