Looking out my window and at the weather app on my phone tells me that it’s no longer winter, which is a little hard for me to process since this hospital stay began in early December and the last time I was outside was in February.
Lemme tell you: I’m not a fan of everyone else being able to enjoy the sunshine.
My silver lining of COVID-19 has been that my sense of missing out on life while I take the time necessary to get my health under control has been greatly reduced. (Yes, I’m a horrible person.) I’m not proud to admit it, but I’ve taken a certain comfort in knowing that we’re all holed up indoors with nothing to do but eat, kill time on the internet, pretend to be productive, and anxiously read the news. Suddenly, however, the COVID rules are becoming more relaxed, the temps are soaring, and I’m still stuck inside.
This is where I should 1) radically accept that I need to radically accept the pictures now dominating my social media of friends enjoying the almost-summer, and 2) make a better effort to have a good attitude.
You know what, though? I don’t feel like it. Not today, anyways. Maybe tomorrow I’ll manage to be more positive about everything I should be —and usually am—thankful for. In the meantime, I’m going to suck back my Ketocals, feel sorry for myself, and do some online shopping while everyone else enjoys their sunshiney freedom. At least I’ll get some LEGO out of the deal.
De Morbo Sacro: Life and/with Epilepsy 